How do we make our choices?

Unless you are a robot that just chooses the best calculated way to things or the option with the highest success rate, you will often find yourself in the situation of making choices.

 

Making choices is hard. That is why we use a couple different tactics to justify the choices we make. I am of course no psychologist so don't take everything too serious, but this is just my point of view of how I make decisions.

Emotionally

Especially woman are often driven to make their choices based on their emotions. This is just a fact. Woman in general are just way more emotional beings then men. That is why it is no surprise that woman choose the option that will make them feel good.

 

Nothing wrong with that. It is natural that you want to feel good that's why you will often choose the option that will make you feel good about something or about yourself. 

Financially

 

Regardless of how bad you want to do things, your financial situation often plays a big role in whether you do something or not. Nowadays the options are not as limited as they were back in the day. Most things are possible for a decent price as long as you got some smooth talk or are just really good in finding the right people.

 

For instance. If you want to travel. The only thing that will cost you the most money is your ticket. You don't necessarily have to stay in a good hotel, eat the best food or visit all the famous sights in the city. There is still loads of fun stuff to do and explore without spending any money. If you are good with people and making new friends you can even crash in their place. 

 

Regarding the family

 

If we are talking about making decisions regarding the family then I am talking about: moving out, picking a college nearby or far away, if you are going to stay with your dad or mum after a divorce etc. Those kind of big decisions are not easy, because it is not only about you.

 

The whole family will be influenced by this choice. Do you already see where I am going with this.... it already puts so much pressure on you, knowing that your choice will influence the future, but you know what? The future is a mysterious thing.

 

Things can always turn out differently then expected. Is that so bad? Is that a reason to have fear of making decisions? I don't think so. You should just do whatever feels right at that moment and let things go the way they go. You can try to control/predict everything and base your decisions on that, but the thing with that is that whenever something goes different then you expected then you suddenly feel super stressed or it influences you a lot. 

 

That is why I like having a flexible mindset. It really helps you to loosen up. Just going with the flow relieves you off that pressure. It works for me. This doesn't mean you should do it  as well. That is for you to decide. See, its all about choices ;).

 

Question is : Are you willing to change the way you think? So you feel less pressure with the impact of your decisions? Or do you want to stay stuck in that ''controlfreakmode'' and keep that stress not knowing if your decision will have a positive outcome.

Regarding friends

 

Relationships are important. We all have relationships. Friends, family, lovers, animals. All sorts of relationships.

 

Truthfully, we need them. It makes us feel human. We all need a form of interaction every now and then, otherwise we lose our shit. I That's kinda proven on those movies/series where people have to live alone on a abandoned island. 

 

Because relationships are so important, we would like to maintain these relationships. To do so we have to comfort or please this person/animal by making certain choices.

 

I often find this one a little bit tricky. Of course you want to stick your neck out to maintain your relationships and help out, but like Randell Terry says: ''fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me''.

 

You can help your friends, family or animals, but you always have to stay realistic and think of yourself in the end. There has to be a balance in you doing something for somebody else and they returning the favor. You're not Santa. It's not give give give and get nothing in return.

 

Friendships are a constant flow of love, kindness and appreciation which should go both ways. If the other party is lacking their input you should evaluate your relationship with them. Cause often when you don't recognize this or not act on it people will abuse your kindness. Unfortunately not everyone in this world is all good.

Alright, these were my thoughts on making choices and how I think we make our decisions. Did you like this subject? Do you have anything to add? Did I miss something ? Let me know :) on my email : maxasbeekbrusse@icloud.com

 

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You didn't post on a Friday!? I know I know stupid me. To be honest I have been really enjoying my new job actually. It's a little bit more time consuming then I expected.

 

Of course I don't want to leave you guys  hanging so I'll try to keep up the posts whenever I can. It might be a little bit more irregular then before, but I won't quit!

 

I wish you all a great week!

 

Yours sincerely,

 

The left handed writer

 

 

 

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